IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Government money should be invested in teaching science rather than other subjects so as to help a country make progress and develop.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #science #subjects #country #progress
With the emphasis on
science
, some people hold the point that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should allocate funds to teaching
science
 rather than other fields，aiming at the progress and
development
 of the
country
. I generally disagree with
this
 statement ，as other
subjects
also
 matter. Admittedly, there’s no denying that
science
 plays a significant role in modern society.individuals, studying
science
 and equipped with specialized knowledge, can devote themselves to fields which can boost the economy and enhance the power of the
country
,
such
 as artificial intelligence, the Internet, and some related
subjects
.these domains are of great importance, so the
government
 ought to emphasize scientific
subjects
 where investing more funds serves as an effective way to support its
development
. In
this
 way, a solid foundation for future
science
 can be built , forming a
country
 with high technology.
However
, it is important to note the roles other
subjects
 play in the growth of society. some disciplines related to
arts
,
such
 as history and literature, exert a positive effect on the identification of a nation. image a nation neglecting history.its citizens may have no clue where they come from, and its culture can be easily assimilated by other exotic cultures. so the
government
 should not neglect the investment in liberal studies, considering its significance and power in gathering people together.
instead
, the authority needs to allocate enough money to support the
subjects
, so that the
country
 can boost in both material and spiritual domains.
Besides
, another reason for the focus on
arts
 is that the boom in
arts
also
 brings benefits to the economy of society. with the
development
 of material life, individuals tend to consume art products in pursuit of life with high standards.
arts
-related products enjoy high popularity and reputation, and historic spots attract millions of tourists annually, enhancing the revenue and local presidents’ income.
Thus
 if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 pays more attention to the
development
 of
arts
subjects
, chances are that more
arts
-related products can be created and historical tourism can witness a soar,bringing more profits for the
government
 and its residents. To summarize,
although
science
subjects
 are significant,
arts
-related fields
also
 need to be emphasized,considering their importance in enhancing the cultural power of a
country
 and boosting the local economy.
Submitted by 3200103839 on

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task response
Ensure a clear stance on the given topic to maintain coherence and consistency throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize the ideas logically to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and utilize a variety of grammatical patterns to enhance the grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovation
  • Competitiveness
  • Scientific literacy
  • Catalyst
  • Renewable energy
  • Holistic
  • Global challenges
  • Critical thinking
  • Cultural awareness
  • Curriculum
  • Skilled workforce
  • Pressing problems
  • Job market saturation
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