Some people think that the government has the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet, while others argue it is the responsibility of each individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #duty #citizens #diet #responsibility

While

some people believe that the government is responsible for guaranteeing the community's balanced diet, others argue that citizens must manage their lifestyle personally. I agree with the latter viewpoint. In my opinion,

due to

disease prevention, the community needs to pay more attention to their health consciousness. On the one hand, there are several reasons why the crowd believes that the ministry plays a vital role in society's health management.

Firstly

, in a pandemic, they make the decisions that ensure that everyone is fully vaccinated to halt the spread of the virus.

Secondly

, the government takes full responsibility for disseminating information about disease and protective measures for the population.

For instance

, every nation has its own program to provide information about a healthy lifestyle that shows some tips for the community to avoid illness.

As a result

, everyone can understand and have an optimistic mindset about

healthcare

On the other hand

, I believe that each person needs to care about their life since only they can feel how strong their body is.

Firstly

, balancing their diet, staying hydrated, having regular check-ups and intense workouts are their own responsibilities that they can do actively. Another reason is society's mindset.

For example

, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

a number of citizens who deny medication services because they do not believe in hospital quality, which means they think that they can treat diseases by themselves.

Therefore

, human thinking about

healthcare

is important.

To sum up

, even though the

healthcare

responsibility of the authority plays an important role in global health, it seems to me whether citizens’

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

healthy or not depends on their mindset and

healthcare

initiative

Fix the agreement mistake

initiatives

show examples

Submitted by trangphan121206 on Sun Aug 13 2023

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task response

Your essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing both views and providing your opinion. To enhance the task response further, ensure that your opinion is supported with more detailed reasoning and examples.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion with a clear overall structure. However, to improve this further, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and consider using linking words to connect ideas more effectively.

task response

Clear discussion of both views and a balanced opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the government has the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet, while others argue it is the responsibility of each individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Some people believe that both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem, while others argue against this. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people used distance- learning programs to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people support use of animals for testing medicines for humans. Others believe it is not appropriate to use animals for such experiments. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.