In some countries today children are taught from young age that competition is important and winning is everything. Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #children #age #competition #development

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this

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world of competition, there is

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on-going

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ongoing

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trend that young

children

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should learn to compete and to win for everything. Some nations proclaim

this

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and encourage

the

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apply

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youngsters to achieve

this

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whereas

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, I believe that it is not an appreciable development, even though it has some upsides. One of the major drawbacks of

this

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trend is

children

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become more mentally stressed. When they are forced to achieve a task, youngsters will go through a stressful situation.

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the end, if they do not win, that incident will lead to some psychological problems like depression, lack of concentration etc.

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, it will pressure them to

take

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make

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fatal

decision

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decisions

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in their

livesdue

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lives due

to their immature behaviour.

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, competitive spirit among

children

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causes

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them to

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find

out

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apply

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illegal ways to attain

the

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apply

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good results. Sometimes it would not be their cup of tea,but they are compelled to work for it. When they think that, they cannot reach the target,

children

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look for different ways to achieve the goal without knowing the impacts.

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, competitive minds make them

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apply

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achieve goals and encourage them to work hard for it. In later life,

such

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mindset

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a mindset

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would help them to achieve their goals

easy

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easily

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. In conclusion, teaching

the

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apply

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children

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to become competitive to win is appreciatable, but

it's

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its

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side effects should be taken

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into

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due consideration to avoid

the

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apply

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stress and the pathway to wrong decisions.

Submitted by anildeepthy1982 on Sun Aug 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay to ensure better coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

Ensure that the essay fully responds to the task prompt and provides relevant and specific examples to support the ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

232 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achievement
drive
personal growth
self-esteem
resilience
perseverance
strategic thinking
pressure
time management
mental health
well-being
burnout
teamwork
cooperation
personal success
collaborative efforts
rivalry
camaraderie
unethical behavior
cheating
integrity
moral compass
long-term consequences
work-life balance
job satisfaction

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In some countries today children are taught from young age that competition is important and winning is everything. Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that shops should sell food products that are made in the local area whenever possible rather than foods that are imported from other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. WHy is this?Do you think it is positive or negative development?

Some people believe that sports are an essential part of school life for children while you should give reasons for your answers and include. ideas and examples

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?