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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the number of complaints made about noise to Environmental Health authorities in the city of Newton between 1980 and 1996.

The graph below shows the number of complaints made about noise to Environmental Health authorities in the city of Newton between 1980 and 1996.
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The line graph illustrates how many
complaints
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made
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were made
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 about
noise
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 to environmental health people from 1980 to 1996 in Newtown city.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a
stead
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steady
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 rise in the
number
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 of
complaints
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 about factories and
also
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of
complaints
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 about
traffic
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noise
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 and Domestic fluctuated.
While
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 there was a
stead
Correct your spelling
steady
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 decline in the
number
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 of
complaints
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 about
road
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works
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, dropped steadily. There was a reminder unchanged in the
number
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 of
complaints
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 about
traffic
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noise
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 and
household
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households
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 from 1980 to 1984. After 12 years,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 rates decreased slightly. From 1986 to 1988,there was a remain steady
in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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number
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 of
complaints
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 about domestic and
traffic
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noise
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. There was a sharp increase in the
number
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 of
complaints
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 about
household
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households
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 from 400 to 800 between 1988 and 1990.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
rate
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 reached a peak of 1200 in 1996.
According to
Linking Words
traffic
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noise
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. Its
rate
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 rose
noticeable
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noticeably
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 to just below 600 from 1988 to 1992 and the
number
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 of
complaints
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 about
traffic
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noise
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 increased slightly by 600. When it comes to
road
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works
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, there was a significant decline in the
number
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 of
complaints
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 respecting
road
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works
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 between 1980 and 1984. From 1984 to 1990,
this
Linking Words
rate
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 fell by 200.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
complaints
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 about
road
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works
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 reached a low of just below 200.
Finally
Linking Words
, there was a steep increase in the
number
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 of
complaints
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 about factories from 400 to 600 between 1980 and 1982 and
this
Linking Words
rate
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 rose by 100 in 1988.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
complaints
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 about factories went on rising steadily until 1996.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words complaints, noise, number, traffic, road, works, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 11 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 11 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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