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Band 4

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
Despite the fact that many efforts have been done in the section of
food
,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 many people suffer from
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
food
 repositories in various
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
 of the world. I opine that
althought
Correct your spelling
although
 the solutions are not easy but they can alleviate the problem.
to begin
 with, in recent years the class gap among
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 become significant. which means that facilities are
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 more accessible for
well-off
Correct article usage
the well-off
show examples
.
However
, destitute may have difficulties to benefit from the basic amenities of vita
such
 as potable water and sufficient nutrients.therefor, development in agriculture does not contain poor society. to exemplify,
as a result
 of famine and starvation the number of mortality in
aferican
Correct your spelling
African
American
 countries increasing day after day only because they are unable to expend the price of
food
.
while
 people in rich states can consume everything that they crave
for
Change preposition
apply
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. to curb the side-effects of the problem the onus is on governments to allocate
budget
Correct article usage
a budget
show examples
 for
establishment
Add an article
the establishment
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 of an organization that they can monitor the
disturbation
Correct your spelling
distribution
 of
food
 supply or assign
subsides
Correct your spelling
subsidies
show examples
 for poor countries to reduce the cost of producing
nutritients
Correct your spelling
nutrients
 for them.
in
Capitalize word
In
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 addition, people can make a donation to these charities to decrease the
suffer
Change the form of the verb
suffering
show examples
 of
this
 problem.
to sum up
, I reiterate that
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
food
 supply in certain countries are
serious
Add an article
a serious
show examples
 issue and must take into account by both government men and individuals until it is not too late.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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