People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families. Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families?

Some people argue that, nowadays, a number of people do not spend
time
with their
families
. I strongly believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
and more becoming nuclear
families
and single
families
. Recently,the cost of
house
buying or rental
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
significatly
Correct your spelling
significantly
increased. So,people move to faraway cities of
Correct article usage
the center
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
to find reasonably cost
house
.
Finally
, they will find a
house
. But, their
house
would be located outside the city. So, their company going
time
will be very long, coming home
time
too. That means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they will not have
time
for
house
stay
time
and family gathering
time
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Their many times will be spent on the road.
Also
, children spend
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
time
studying. Early in the
moring
Correct your spelling
morning
show examples
, they go to school. And, they go to academic classes
such
as mathematics,
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
, playing the piano and painting after school. And
then
,they come back home
time
is between 9 and 10. They have a short
time
to rest after, starting to study with homework and add study.
As a result
, they too will not have family
communication
time
. The mentioned above, the
families'lifestyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
has negative effects on family members. They do not talk to each other more and more. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they do have no
time
to meet. that leads to that family member
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
to lacking
communication
and emotional
communication
.
As a result
,
time
Correct word choice
as time
show examples
goes by, they will think that my
house
is uncomfortable. The lack of
communication
influences their children.
They
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
children will become
individualism
Replace the word
individualistic
show examples
. that will be a social
communication
problem.
Submitted by moneekun on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the ideas more coherently.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the given topic and provides clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant specific examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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