IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people enjoy change and look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to remain the same and do not like any changes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #change #experiences #lives #changes
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A minimum amount of
people
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 who appreciate
change
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 and look for new experiences.
While
Linking Words
 some feel and love their stable lives and don'
t
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 to
change
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 particular things. I firmly believe that we should be changed and rely on situations in order to get a better and
happy
Replace the word
happier
show examples
life
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. On the one hand, there are few
people
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 who are excited to take advantage of adventurous
life
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.
Firstly
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, those who want to seek opportunities for exploring themself. It
makes
Verb problem
lets
show examples
 them know about unknown things to explore their ability. Nowadays, the world
will be changed
Wrong verb form
is changing
show examples
 at every time leading some
people
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 should be up to date every single day.
For example
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, businessmen have changed their businesses to adapt to the customers in the markets. If they can'
t
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change
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, the business model will be bankrupt.
As a result
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,
people
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 who are often to
change
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 have wider exposure which has more experiences in their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, there are some reasons leading
people
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 don'
t
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 want to
change
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 and appreciate their
life
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.
Firstly
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, some
people
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 who
success
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are successful
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 and middle-aged, just want to keep business models running smoothly and work for stable jobs to create new income sources to save their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Secondly
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, they want to save time to spend with their families as persons who are beloved.
Thus
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, someone who
created
Wrong verb form
creates
show examples
 cash flows and doesn'
t
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change
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 anything about their lives and takes care of their families
due to
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 they are getting older. For me, I think I am going to
change
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 and learn from my mistakes. It assists me in upcome journeys of my
life
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.
In addition
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 to that, it will
make
Verb problem
help
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 me in order to perfect myself. In conclusion,
people
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 often want to
change
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 when they feel they want to discover new things in their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Some middle-aged don'
t
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 want to
change
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 because every decision
makes
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 needs to
consider
Wrong verb form
be considered
show examples
 carefully and affects their families.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion. Also, the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion.
task response
Your essay should address all aspects of the topic, including both views and your opinion. Be sure to provide specific examples to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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