Some people say that outdoor activities bring benefits to children's development rather than computer games, To what extent do you agree/disagree?

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Many people believe that

children

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should be encouraged to spend time on outdoor

activities

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' engagement

instead

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of playing video

games

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. From

Change the word

this

show examples

perspective, I partially agree with

this

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opinion. On the one hand, the option to give

children

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chances to play outdoor

games

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is beneficial for some reasons. The key reason is that these

activities

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contribute to

children

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's physical development. By moving, running, or jumping through outdoor sports, many systems in the child's body,

such

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as the respiratory, circulatory, and musculoskeletal systems, have a great opportunity to activate and leverage their functions

as a result

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. An example of

that is

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that sportive

children

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are generally taller and healthier than their friends who are keen on a sedentary lifestyle. Another benefit is that outside

activities

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allow

children

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to broaden their social circle. By joining a group of peers who have the same hobbies,

children

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can communicate openly and honestly with each other.

Consequently

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, numerous positive characteristics

such

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as confidence, empathy, and good listening will be promoted naturally.

On the other hand

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, excessive practice of outside

activities

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may sometimes be unsafe compared to computer

games

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. It can be explained by the fact that playing video

games

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as an indoor activity not only helps

children

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relax and have fun but

also

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protects them from the sun's UV rays and pain from collisions in outdoor sports.

For instance

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, if a child has a bone broken because of playing football, that will impact their life significantly, as they will have to suffer the pain for a long time and need to take days off from school for their

bone's

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bone

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recovery. In conclusion, despite the considerable benefits related to physical and mental growth that outdoor

activities

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can offer

children

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, there are some risks compared to computer

games

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thucnghi5594Mon Aug 14 2023

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Some people say that outdoor activities bring benefits to children's development rather than computer games, To what extent do you agree/disagree?

There are more and more older people who are looking for work and have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?

Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know that it is bad for them. Why is this the cause? What measures can effectively improve people’s unhealthy eating habits?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

me countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the internet?

More students decided to take a part-time job when they go into universities. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?