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Writing Samples
Band 7

the graph below shows the proportion of four different material that were recycled that were recycled from 1982 to 2010

the graph below shows the proportion of four different material that were recycled that were recycled from 1982 to 2010
#proportion #four
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The line graphs show the percentage of recycling rates for selected materials from 1982 to 2010 in a certain country.
Overall
Linking Words
, starting in 1982, paper and cardboard were mostly recycled goods, followed by
glass
Use synonyms
containers
Use synonyms
 in second place. In different
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, aluminium cans started being recycled in 1984 and plastic just started being recycled in 1988.
However
Linking Words
, aluminium cans just started recycling in 1984, but they have a sharp incline
trend
Use synonyms
 from
year
Use synonyms
 to
year
Use synonyms
 and have the highest point in 2010. Followed by Plastic which started to be recycled in 1988, and has a steady
trend
Use synonyms
 from
year
Use synonyms
 to
year
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, paper and cupboards,
also
Linking Words
glass
Use synonyms
containers
Use synonyms
 have a fluctuating
trend
Use synonyms
. Paper and cupboards had a slight decline from 1984 to 1988, but there was a big boost between 1990 and 1994. Even though the
trend
Use synonyms
 has declined gradually, it is still the most recycled in 2010. The fluctuation in
glass
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containers
Use synonyms
 declined steadily from 1982 to 1990.
However
Linking Words
, over the next
Use synonyms
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
 the recycling of
glass
Use synonyms
containers
Use synonyms
 boosted significantly from 1990 to 2010.
Submitted by citraa88 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words glass, containers, year, trend with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
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