Some people think a simple lifestyle can preserve the environment, while others argue that technology itself can solve it . Discuss both views and give your opinions

While

Linking Words

a part of the population considers life without technology better, the other part sees it as an advantage. I will discuss both views

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

then

Linking Words

I will give my opinion.

Firstly

Linking Words

, some people believe that technology has a bad influence on human connections. They think that a simple lifestyle can make individuals more connected with one another and

also

Linking Words

with the environment. If they are not distracted by any devices, they can spend time in nature

while

Linking Words

they preserve it.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the community can live a life full of joy if they start appreciating the little things.

For example

Linking Words

, if I go out with my friends and we do not bring our phones, we pay attention to one another and we

also

Linking Words

enjoy the habitat.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the other part of the population believes that automation is helping the population to save time

as well as

Linking Words

saving

Wrong verb form

save

show examples

the environment. community-built machines that clean the forests and the streets.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, those machines make the crowd's lives easier by doing hard work. I agree with

this

Linking Words

point of view

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

I think that automation makes our lives easier.

For instance

Linking Words

, cleaning the forest

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

100

crowds

Check wording

people

show examples

to clean , but with machines , only 5 people are needed. In conclusion, I believe that our life is better with

technology

Punctuation problem

technology,

show examples

not only because it saves the climate, but

also

Linking Words

because it saves people's energy .Human connection can be affected by the

advance

Fix the agreement mistake

advances

show examples

in automation only if humans do not pay attention to

this

Linking Words

aspect.

zaineajessica

Aug 15, 2023

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Task response

Your essay uses two views and a clear opinion. Ideas are not fully built. Add more details and explain your points.

Task response

Keep a steady position. Start with a clear plan and stay on it through the essay.

Coherence

Link ideas with simple words like 'also', 'but', 'and', 'for example' to show how ideas connect.

Coherence

Make each paragraph have one main idea with a short sentence at the start.

Language

Fix small grammar issues. Use short, plain sentences to be clear.

Structure/Content

The essay shows two sides and has a closing idea.

Content

There are examples to show the points.

Content

The conclusion gives your own view.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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