Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some says that there are the best people to talkto school students about the dangers of commiting a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

After being released from prison, a number of ex-convicts have shown auspicious rehabilitation, which leads to a belief that they are suitable candidates to warn

school

Use synonyms

children against engaging in criminal activities. From my perspective, I firmly agree that they should be encouraged to take responsibility with proper caution and close supervision from the authority. On the one hand, the proponents of the viewpoint that well-rehabilitated individuals would be ideal models to

hinder

Verb problem

deter

show examples

teenagers from committing offences.

Also

Linking Words

, teenagers, these days, are more likely to be deluded in light of misleading content featured in movies and comics, which gives rise to a situation where they obsess

with

Change preposition

over

show examples

criminals

Use synonyms

and

thus

Linking Words

, they want to do illegal things.

Therefore

Linking Words

, rehabilitated offenders can play a leading role in serving as deterrents to combat crimes since ex-convicts know the consequences of taking part in unlawful acts, the pain they caused to victims, and the torment of conscience.

Also

Linking Words

, these former prisoners can incorporate with the

school

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councils to give a speech to

students

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about how

criminals

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jeopardize

Change the spelling

jeopardise

show examples

society and the harsh punishments that

criminals

Use synonyms

have to suffer

Change preposition

under

show examples

Correct article usage

the laws

show examples

laws

Fix the agreement mistake

law

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, thereby

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

instilling fear in adolescents'

mindsets

Check wording

minds

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are many aspects that should be taken into

consideration

Punctuation problem

consideration,

show examples

as ex-prisoners would adversely influence kids' dispositions. Obviously, it is an indisputable fact that offenders' morals have been somehow tainted owing to precedence taking part in unlawful acts. If they are not under surveillance by the government, they may re-offend and pose a serious threat to

students

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

society.

Besides

Linking Words

those people who have experienced good rehabilitation, there are other candidates who could be considered as well. To cite an example, police officers who directly fight against

criminals

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could inspire

students

Use synonyms

with a sense of justice, and social workers who have to deal with victims' status might trigger

students

Use synonyms

with empathy and

also

Linking Words

a deep hatred for evil actions.

In other words

Linking Words

school

Use synonyms

principals should be proactive in coordinating with various parties to

organize

Change the spelling

organise

show examples

crime prevention programmes for

students

Use synonyms

. By way of conclusion, there are wide-ranging merits of getting rehabilitated convicts involved in educating

school

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students

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, especially to show them the consequences of crimes.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, schools have to be careful and uncompromising when taking

this

Linking Words

option.

anhthu3826

Aug 15, 2023

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structure

Plan your essay with a clear plan. Start with a short view you take, then give two main ideas. End with a short note.

language

Use simple words. Keep sentences short. Use linking words to show how ideas fit.

content

Give more exact examples and facts to back up points. Show how this helps real school kids.

strength

Clear position and view point are shown in the intro and conclusion.

strength

Two sides are shown, with contrast in ideas.

strength

The plan is easy to follow with topic ideas in each paragraph.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

373 words

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Some people think that older employees bring more value to a company. Others believe that younger employees are more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion. You must

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Some people say that travel helps us to appreciate other cultures. How true is this statement? Do you think that people who travel a lot appreciate other cultures more than those who stay at home?