In many countries, governments like to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think the government should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It
is believe
Change the verb form
is believed
show examples
that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the authority
allocate
Correct subject-verb agreement
allocates
show examples
the national budget in arts.
The
Change preposition
On the
show examples
other side, it is quite important to
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
money on
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
and study more than
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. In
this
essay, I will express both sides of
Correct article usage
the advantage
show examples
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
and give reasons why I think health and education development
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
more priority.
Overall
, the arts
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
part of our life. We share our feelings
such
as dancing,
singning
Correct your spelling
singing
, painting and making crafts which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
don't need to
talking
Change the verb
talk
show examples
with someone.
For example
, painting is joyful for everyone. If someone boring with their job life or
money
Add a missing verb
has money
show examples
trouble
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
painting is really connected like
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
friendship.
Then
we paint something on
wall
Fix the agreement mistake
walls
show examples
or roads.
Also
when we feel emotion
then
we
singing
Wrong verb form
sing
show examples
Add an article
the song
a song
show examples
song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs
show examples
and express our emotion
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
music, same as dancing
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shinning our life when
feel
Change the verb form
feeling
show examples
smart.
Submitted by Jahid Hossain on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriches
  • cultural heritage
  • national identity
  • stimulate tourism
  • mental health benefits
  • therapy
  • stress relief
  • sense of community
  • prioritizing
  • strong foundation
  • socio-economic development
  • disease prevention
  • life expectancy
  • employment opportunities
  • fundamental rights
  • healthcare
  • allocation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: