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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features. Make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features. Make comparisons where relevant.
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The line chart gives information about the survey results of reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 were willing to
move
Use synonyms
 to the capital city between 2000 and 2015. It can be seen that the number of
people
Use synonyms
 migrating for
employment
Use synonyms
 reached a peak of 93,000 approximately in 2010, and
then
Linking Words
 declined to about 88,000 in 2015. The total of
people
Use synonyms
 who
move
Use synonyms
 for getting better education followed a similar pattern with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2010, both growing steadily.
However
Linking Words
, the figure increased dramatically to 88,000 in 2015, catching up with that of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the reasons for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families or friends and the pursuit of adventures constituted a much lower proportion than others. The period from 2000 to 2015 witnessed a marginal rise in the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who want to experience the sense of
adventurous
Replace the word
adventure
show examples
, from 10,000 to about 15,000. What’s more, there was a slight climb in the figure of families or friends, rising from 11,000 in 2000 to 22,000 in 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
 chose to
move
Use synonyms
 to the capital because of finding jobs and
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
, and more and more
people
Use synonyms
 would like to
move
Use synonyms
 to the capital city.
Moreover
Linking Words
, even though there was a moderate decrease in
employment
Use synonyms
, it was still the most significant reason for relocation.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, move, employment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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