Some people regard the video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

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Some individuals in term of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

as harmless fun, or even as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

helpful educational

tool

Fix the agreement mistake

tools

show examples

. Others,

however

Linking Words

, think that

videos

Change the noun form

video

show examples

games

Use synonyms

are having

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

impact on the individuals who play them.

Although

Linking Words

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

can bring disadvantages namely,

health

Use synonyms

issues, I believe the advantages of

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

greater exceed

downsides

Correct article usage

the downsides

show examples

because it

is teach

Change the verb form

teaches

show examples

people

Use synonyms

creativity

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and help

people

Use synonyms

to become more social. On the one hand, the primary demerits of

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

it can have a detrimental influence on

physical

Add an article

the physical

show examples

and mental

health

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

. Regarding physical issues

Add a comma

show examples

people

Use synonyms

spend a considerable amount of time

time

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

in order to

playing

Change the verb

play

show examples

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

, which

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can make

people

Use synonyms

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

more vulnerable to

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

serious diseases, obesity, heart attack, and

eyes

Change the noun form

eye

show examples

problems.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

can make

people

Use synonyms

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

more likely to get mental

health

Use synonyms

problems

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

depression, and anxiety .

This

Linking Words

is because

people

Use synonyms

lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

face-to-face interaction with real

people

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I would like to argue that

merits

Correct article usage

the merits

show examples

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

significantly

Add a missing verb

are significantly

show examples

more than

demerits

Correct article usage

the demerits

show examples

. The primary benefit of

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

is encouraging creativity among

people

Use synonyms

. To illustrate,

people

Use synonyms

who play

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

often solve puzzles and overcome challenges, which

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can motivate

people

Use synonyms

thinking

Change the verb form

think

show examples

out of

box

Add an article

the box

show examples

For example

Linking Words

Use synonyms

video

Add an article

a video

show examples

game called Minecraft

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

children

Use synonyms

to solve a wide range of puzzles, which

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can

beneficial

Add a missing verb

be beneficial

show examples

for

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

brain functions.

Make

Wrong verb form

Making

show examples

people

Use synonyms

more social is another advantage of playing

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because some online

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

help

children

Use synonyms

to make relationships with many

people

Use synonyms

from different cultures and backgrounds.

Therefore

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

via

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can enhance their communication skills.

To sum up

Linking Words

depsite

Correct your spelling

despite

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

can bring downsides

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

health

Use synonyms

problems I believe

ther

Correct your spelling

their

the

upsides of

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

outweigh

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

due to

Linking Words

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

boosts

Change the verb form

boost

show examples

creativity among

people

Use synonyms

, and make

people

Use synonyms

more social.

faiz3177Tue Aug 15 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive skills
problem-solving
strategic thinking
multiplayer games
social skills
teamwork
communication
collaboration
interactive learning
gaming addiction
academic performance
violence desensitization
aggressive behavior
sedentary lifestyle
health issues

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Some people regard the video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think hard work and determination lead to success. Others feel that money and personal appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays, people are able to use the internet to do an increasing number of tasks. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.