Some people regard the video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Some individuals in term of
the
Correct article usage
apply
video
games
as harmless fun, or even as a
helpful educational Correct article usage
apply
tool
. Others, Fix the agreement mistake
tools
however
, think that videos
Change the noun form
video
games
are having negative
impact on the individuals who play them. Add an article
a negative
Although
video
games
can bring disadvantages namely, health
issues, I believe the advantages of video
games
greater exceed downsides
because it Correct article usage
the downsides
is teach
Change the verb form
teaches
people
creativity,
and help Remove the comma
apply
people
to become more social.
On the one hand, the primary demerits of video
games
it can have a detrimental influence on physical
and mental Add an article
the physical
health
of people
. Regarding physical issuesAdd a comma
,
people
spend a considerable amount of time time
in order to Remove the redundancy
apply
playing
Change the verb
play
video
games
, which this
can make Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
are
more vulnerable to Unnecessary verb
apply
get
serious diseases, obesity, heart attack, and Wrong verb form
getting
eyes
problems. Change the noun form
eye
Futhermore
, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
video
games
can make people
are
more likely to get mental Unnecessary verb
apply
health
problems such
as ,
depression, and anxiety . Remove the comma
apply
This
is because people
lack of
face-to-face interaction with real Remove the preposition
apply
people
.
On the other hand
, I would like to argue that merits
of Correct article usage
the merits
video
games
significantly
more than Add a missing verb
are significantly
demerits
. The primary benefit of Correct article usage
the demerits
video
games
is encouraging creativity among people
. To illustrate, people
who play video
games
often solve puzzles and overcome challenges, which this
can motivate Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
to thinking
out of Change the verb form
think
box
. Add an article
the box
For example
, video
game called Minecraft Add an article
a video
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
children
to solve a wide range of puzzles, which this
can Correct pronoun usage
apply
beneficial
for Add a missing verb
be beneficial
children
brain functions. Change noun form
children's
Make
Wrong verb form
Making
people
more social is another advantage of playing video
games
. This
is because some online video
games
help children
to make relationships with many people
from different cultures and backgrounds. Therefore
, children
via
playing Change preposition
apply
video
games
they
can enhance their communication skills.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
To sum up
, depsite
of Correct your spelling
despite
video
games
can bring downsides such
as,
Remove the comma
apply
health
problems I believe ther
upsides of Correct your spelling
their
the
video
games
outweigh disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
due to
video
games
boosts
creativity among Change the verb form
boost
people
, and make people
more social.Submitted by faiz3177 on
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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