The bar charts below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use.

The bar charts below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use.
The data provided in the form of a bar chart compares in which way the pattern of visits to a community website has changed at the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
of use and the next
year
.
Overall
, there was an upward trend in the number of people who
using
Wrong verb form
used
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the social website over the next
yeat
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year
show examples
, except in Auqest which
less
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fewer
show examples
individuals spent time on that. The figure for visitors
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
mention
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mentioned
show examples
platform in February and March in the first
year
was nearly 1000 people,
while
that
of
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apply
show examples
increased significantly by 10 times in the following
year
. The least growth in the number of visits related to Sep and Oct by
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
of less than 1000 people.
similarly
, the
last
two
month
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months
show examples
have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
and its visit experienced a moderate rise from 10000 to about 18000. In the first month of
Add an article
the year
show examples
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
the popularity of
this
site was approximately 2500,
however
that of soar to 16000 in
second
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the second
show examples
year
of use.
Although
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
show examples
season saw
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same growth in the subsequent
year
,
communiting
Correct your spelling
communicating
with
this
website reached
to
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apply
show examples
the top
its
Change preposition
of its
show examples
value in June and July by 22000.
In contrast
, the user of
this
site decreased from 15000 to 13000 in the second
year
.
Submitted by n.rezaei199170 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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