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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about the population of New Zealand between 2011 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the population of New Zealand between 2011 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
The graph indicates the
number
Use synonyms
 of New Zealand residents in different age ranges in 2011 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total
population
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 displayed an upward trend, despite that those who
under
Add a missing verb
were under
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 39
years
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 old underwent a decrease during surveyed
years
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. On top of that, individuals between 15 to 39
years
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 old accounted for the largest proportion in New Zealand. The
population
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 of New Zealand went up 0.6% between 2011 and 2012, from 4.4
million
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 to 4.46
million
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, in which the most dramatic surge displayed in the
number
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 of people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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over 65
years
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 old, in which the figure went up 4% at 0.9
million
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 in 2012.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of residents between 15 to 39
years
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 old
as well as
Linking Words
 youth under 15
years
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 old experienced a
downgrad
Correct your spelling
downgrade
, both lost 2% of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
, after
Correct article usage
the lost
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lost
Replace the word
loss
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20
Change preposition
of 20
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 thousand of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
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 in the age group between 15 to 39
years
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 old, the
number
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remaind
Correct your spelling
remained
remains
 the highest among others at 1.5
million
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, population, years, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "displayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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