The graph below shows the proportions of workers in three different sectors in South Korea between 1981 and 2011

#proportions #workers #three #sectors #korea

The line graph gives data on the proportions of employees in 3 various branches of the South Korean economy from 1981 to 2011.

Overall

, Services employees experienced an upward trend throughout the period

while

Industry

registered a fluctuation and agriculture underwent a downward trend. Starting off with the services sector, the employment rate of

this

branch begins at just shy of 40% in 1981.

Then

it witnessed a marked increase during the whole period finishing at just under 70% in 2011 remaining the highest employment rate among the three branches.

Industry

Add an article

The industry

show examples

had begun at around 27% and climbed to reach 34% in 1991 resulting in the employment of

industry

surpassing agriculture in around 1984. After an initial rise,

industry

Correct article usage

the industry

show examples

employees percentage experienced a moderate decline meaning that its figures had returned back to approximately 26%

at the end

Thirdly

, agriculture registered a sizeable decline for two decades: 32% in 1981 and 7% in 2011, respectively.

Submitted by sajadtorab on Wed Aug 16 2023

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Vocabulary: Replace the words industry with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

155 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below shows the proportions of workers in three different sectors in South Korea between 1981 and 2011

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local person when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opionion.

some people think that using animals for experimentation purpose is cruel, but other people think that it is necessary for the development of science. Discuss both view and your opinion.

Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.