IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People aim to achieve a balance between their work and lives, but few people achieve it. what are the causes of this problem? How to overcome it?

#people #aim #balance #work #lives
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Nowadays, most
people
Use synonyms
 intend to succeed
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
balance
between
Change preposition
apply
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their professional and personal lives
while
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 a minority of
people
Use synonyms
 can do it. In my opinion, there are several reasons for
this
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.
To begin
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 think that a majority of citizens
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not able to create a balance in their different parts of life.
For instance
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, many residents want to earn very high
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of wages and
that is
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 why they work excessively.
As a result
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, they have to be in
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
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 and work to later times.
Additionally
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, there are abundant members of the workforce who just want to be
successful
Add an article
a successful
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 person in their careers.
Therefore
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, a larger number of parents pay little attention to their own children and thereby they are not able to adjust their professional and personal lives.
Furthermore
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, children spend
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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most of
the
Change the word
their
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time
Use synonyms
 in schools or courses in order to gain new skills or develop themselves
from
Change preposition
in
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 many aspects.
According to
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 my view, the most important of
that is
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people
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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 their
time
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 on social media.
On the other hand
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, I am of the opinion that
people
Use synonyms
 should escape from
this
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 type of derangement and take various preventative measures.
Such
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 as, employees can take a trip with their family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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 at least twice a month in order to have a good
time
Use synonyms
 with them.
Moreover
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, children give up some unimportant and irrelevant courses to their future
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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while
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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other citizens decrease their
time
Use synonyms
 on the internet and other platforms. In conclusion, I consider that inhabitants have to make an effort to create a balance between both professional and personal lives and savour with their friends or family members
while
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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climbing
career
Correct article usage
the career
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 ladder step by step.
Submitted by ismayilovemin530 on

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance: the equilibrium between one's job responsibilities and personal life.
  • Overwork: working too hard or for excessive amounts of time.
  • Remote work: working from a location other than the central work office, often from home.
  • Flexible working hours: work hours that are adaptable to suit an employee's needs.
  • Commuting: traveling between one's home and workplace.
  • Digital technology: electronic tools and systems used to generate, store, and process data, often leading to increased connectivity.
  • Disconnect: to detach from technology or work communications, often to establish boundaries.
  • Time management: the ability to use one's time effectively or productively.
  • Prioritize: to determine the order for dealing with tasks according to their importance.
  • Employer support: programs or practices employed by an organization to assist employees in managing work and personal roles.
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