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Band 4.5

People aim to achieve a balance between their work and lives, but few people achieve it. what are the causes of this problem? How to overcome it?

#people #aim #balance #work #lives
Nowadays, most
people
 intend to succeed
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
balance
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their professional and personal lives
while
 a minority of
people
 can do it. In my opinion, there are several reasons for
this
.
To begin
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that a majority of citizens
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not able to create a balance in their different parts of life.
For instance
, many residents want to earn very high
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of wages and
that is
 why they work excessively.
As a result
, they have to be in
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
 and work to later times.
Additionally
, there are abundant members of the workforce who just want to be
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
 person in their careers.
Therefore
, a larger number of parents pay little attention to their own children and thereby they are not able to adjust their professional and personal lives.
Furthermore
, children spend
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time
 in schools or courses in order to gain new skills or develop themselves
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many aspects.
According to
 my view, the most important of
that is
people
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 their
time
 on social media.
On the other hand
, I am of the opinion that
people
 should escape from
this
 type of derangement and take various preventative measures.
Such
 as, employees can take a trip with their family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 at least twice a month in order to have a good
time
 with them.
Moreover
, children give up some unimportant and irrelevant courses to their future
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other citizens decrease their
time
 on the internet and other platforms. In conclusion, I consider that inhabitants have to make an effort to create a balance between both professional and personal lives and savour with their friends or family members
while
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
climbing
career
Correct article usage
the career
show examples
 ladder step by step.
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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance: the equilibrium between one's job responsibilities and personal life.
  • Overwork: working too hard or for excessive amounts of time.
  • Remote work: working from a location other than the central work office, often from home.
  • Flexible working hours: work hours that are adaptable to suit an employee's needs.
  • Commuting: traveling between one's home and workplace.
  • Digital technology: electronic tools and systems used to generate, store, and process data, often leading to increased connectivity.
  • Disconnect: to detach from technology or work communications, often to establish boundaries.
  • Time management: the ability to use one's time effectively or productively.
  • Prioritize: to determine the order for dealing with tasks according to their importance.
  • Employer support: programs or practices employed by an organization to assist employees in managing work and personal roles.
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