IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There have been arguments both for and against studying additional courses in higher education over the past few years.
Although
Linking Words
 main
programs
Use synonyms
 should be prioritized over other ones, totally focusing on learning them may do more harm than good from my perspective. There are several reasons why certain individuals believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should completely focus on the main subjects.
First,
Linking Words
in order to earn a qualification or a degree, it is mandatory for
students
Use synonyms
 to study and pass the main
programs
Use synonyms
 at the university.
For example
Linking Words
, if a business student wants to earn a bachelor's degree in business administration, accounting and finance will certainly be compulsory subjects in which he or she should invest a great amount of
time
Use synonyms
 and effort since these
programs
Use synonyms
 are intensive and highly difficult for the majority of
students
Use synonyms
.
Second,
Linking Words
totally
Rephrase
apply
show examples
concentrating on main courses would help earn higher learning scores on these, which is particularly beneficial to those who intend to work in highly specialized industries. In fact, in order to become an engineer, one will be required to fully comprehend all main subjects about mechanics rather than others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, striking a balance between some additional
programs
Use synonyms
 and the main ones can offer broad-based benefits for
students
Use synonyms
 in today's world. Some soft skills are just as important as main professions when entering the workforce.
For instance
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 skills as teamwork or collaboration are essential for the majority of workers in the modern world since they
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have to communicate their ideas effectively and work with people from various backgrounds in the company.
In addition
Linking Words
, learning how to manage their
time
Use synonyms
 has been of vital importance these days. The
very
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
lack of
time
Use synonyms
 management skills could give rise to various mental health problems, including burnout and stress, greatly contributing to productivity loss in the workplace. In short, both views appear reasonable to a certain extent.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I believe
students
Use synonyms
 should spend a certain amount of
time
Use synonyms
 on additional courses if they are looking to up their productivity in their future working lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Overall, the essay provides a fairly complete and clear response to the task. The arguments for and against studying additional courses are well-presented, and the opinion is clearly stated. However, there is a lack of development in some areas, and the examples could be more specific and relevant.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are well supported, but there is potential for further coherence in linking ideas within paragraphs.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is varied and generally accurate. However, there is room for improvement in using more precise and specific vocabulary, especially in discussing academic concepts and examples.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is adequate, with a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and minor errors in punctuation and word choice, which could be refined for greater clarity and fluency.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: