IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Open-plan offices offer a better working environment for staff than a normal office. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that open-plan offices suggest snug and convenient
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 conditions for employees rather than a normal office. Personally, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I reckon that
an8
Correct your spelling
an
office
Correct your spelling
8-office
 room with several staff would be more advantageous and beneficial for workers. First and foremost, open-plan offices may hamper the process of working with employees and cause obstacles to the efficiency of the job result. It means that noisy and irritating sounds might occur in common areas for workers in the office.
For instance
Linking Words
, if some staff are calling clients and talking with them, there may be another worker who is having conversations as a group
discussing
Punctuation problem
, discussing
show examples
 plans or solving issues with the computer.
Thus
Linking Words
, the aforementioned factors lead to deterioration in
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 outcomes of the
work
Use synonyms
. One of the major problems which employees are struggling with is convenience and an uncomfortable atmosphere. If there are numerous people who are working in one
open-planned
Use the right word
open-plan
show examples
 area, it would
provide
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 dissatisfaction
to
Change preposition
among
show examples
 staff to
work
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robot
Fix the agreement mistake
robots
show examples
. As an example, workers cannot
work
Use synonyms
 in snug conditions and enjoy working
together
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
while
show examples
 relaxing, namely making a comfortable
environment
Punctuation problem
environment,
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 not thinking about an adequate look
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as taking off shoes or putting
feet
Correct pronoun usage
their feet
show examples
 on a chair to feel flattered and relaxed. In conclusion, every employee should
work
Use synonyms
 in
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
workspaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workspace
show examples
 and get efficient outcomes, enjoying
work
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of feeling dissatisfied with noisy places. In conclusion, every employee should
work
Use synonyms
 in
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
workspaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workspace
show examples
 and get efficient outcomes, enjoying
work
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of feeling dissatisfied with noisy places.

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task response
The essay has one view but not enough support. add strong, clear reasons and a look at the other side.
coherence
Use clear start for each part. Use easy links like also, but, so.
content
The writer shows a clear view against open plan offices.
content
The idea is easy to read and the point is simple.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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