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Writing Samples
Band 5

The three pie charts illustrate how many hours are spent in a British university library by undergraduates, postgraduates and the total student population.

The three pie charts illustrate how many hours are spent in a British university library by undergraduates, postgraduates and the total student population.
The three pieces charts illustrate how many
hours
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 are spent in a library by
undergraduates
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,
postgraduates
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 compared to other
students
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 at British university.
It is clear that
Linking Words
postgraduates
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 spent more time in library than either
undergraduates
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 or other
students
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.
For example
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, exactly one half of
postgraduates
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 spent at least fifteen
hours
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 in comparison with the average student. The figures were 51 per
cent
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 and nine per
cent
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 respectively.
Furthermore
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, only seventeen per
cent
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 of
postgraduates
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 spent between one and seven
hours
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,
whereas
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 the average for all
students
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 in
this
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 category is a 50 per
cent
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. Meanwhile, the pattern for
undergraduates
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students
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 was substantially different. Most spent seven or more
hours
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 ( 91 per
cent
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). A minority of
undergraduates
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 used the library for fifteen or more
hours
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 per week.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, undergraduates, postgraduates, students, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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