IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

The pie charts below demonstrate some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.

#employment #patterns #britain
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The pie charts below demonstrate some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.
For example
Linking Words
, the overwhelming majority of those employees
is
Change the verb form
are
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males
Use synonyms
 working in managerial and professional, which is non-manual.(36%). Meanwhile , females were about one in four. (29%)
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , the general labourers were considerably different for both mere 1-2%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, craft or similar
consist
Correct subject-verb agreement
consists
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 a modest 3%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 females.
Although
Linking Words
 ,
males
Use synonyms
 employed just under
quarter
Add an article
a quarter
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 .(24%).
In addition
Linking Words
 , they had nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 percentages
at
Change preposition
as
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other manual
Change the wording
another manual
other manuals
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. And
males
Use synonyms
 in clerical or related
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
 were a modest six per cent.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, females were more invulnerable than
males
Use synonyms
. There had been just under three out of four. (31%).
Additionally
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the least work was other non-manual. It was a tiny minority in both sex.(6 and 9 per cent)
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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