IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below provides the propotion of tourists to England visiting four various attractions in Bringhton.

The diagram below provides the propotion of tourists to England visiting four various attractions in Bringhton.
The diagram below provides the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of tourists to England visiting four various attractions in
Bringhton
Correct your spelling
Brighton
. During 1980 there are two trends that made up the highest 30% and the lowest 10%.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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both
of
Change preposition
apply
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lines feLL fluctuations for a full period. As regards the first , the percentage of the Festival
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 had declined steadily by 2010,
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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falling from 30% to 28%. The lowest Pier attraction had rose gradually to 22% over the duration.
By contrast
Linking Words
,the other two lines
shows
Change the verb form
show
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dramatically
Change the word
dramatic
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 ups and downs. Between 1980 and 19995, there was a doubling in Pavilion attraction from 24% to 48% and
then
Linking Words
 decreased to around 31%.
Likewise
Linking Words
, by 1985 the trend for Art Gallery had climbed sharply to 37% and had declined wildly to 20% in 1990.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there had been a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
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 drop to 8% by the
ending
Replace the word
end
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. We can see that the trend of Festival experienced the almost constant features than the other three attractions.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provides" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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