IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that people choose their job bases on income.to what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #job #bases #income
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certain individuals
people
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 always selected their
occupation
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 based on
salary
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. I am deeply Avery with
this
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss why
people
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 choose an
occupation
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 of
salary
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.
Firstly
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,
this
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 day's increasing economic crisis and
people
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 suffering about
food
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, medicine and cloth and everything. The reason
people
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 running about
money
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.
For instance
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, every
food
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 item has gone up. They need to spend a lot of
money
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 on their
food
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.
Also
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, they have to do other things.
That is
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 the reason why they choose an
occupation
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 they first think about their
salary
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. That
salary
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 increases and decreases their knowledge.
secondly
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, Some of them think about retiring because they have to spend a lot of
money
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 on themselves and some time on their children.
For instance
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, getting old they have to a lot of sick and need to stay in hospital. They have to Fay Hospital bills and medicine. Because the reason is important to think about there is
salary
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.
On the other hand
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, I completely disagree about
people
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 who don't think about their
salary
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. Because they are very important
money
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 lives. We have to sand for
money
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 about everything.
For instance
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, someone who doesn't think about
money
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 can not spend
money
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 on children,
food
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, and everything.
That is
Linking Words
 why I am I disagree with
people
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 who don't think about their occupations with
salary
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. In conclusion, in my opinion, everyone has
this
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 about what they choose their
occupation
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 they must think about
salary
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. in my opinion, we have to do nothing about
money
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.
Submitted by manushamanu1024 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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