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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or further education in 1980, 1990, and 2000.

#detail #proportion #australian #school #graduates #education
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The given charts illustrate the unemployed, employed or
further
 education percentage of Australian
students
 who graduated from secondary school in three different periods, 1980, 1990, and 2000. In general, those who were unemployed in three periods were not made up a large sector. It is
also
 noticeable that the employed
students'
Change noun form
students
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 proportion was
dominated
Replace the word
dominant
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 in 1990 and 2000. It can be seen clearly that the majority of
students
 had their own jobs after graduating. These figures made up more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half in 1990 and 2000, but
this
 sector only accounted for a lower figure in 1980.
In contrast
, those
students
 who decided to attend
a
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further
 education were
one-secondth
Correct your spelling
one-second
 in 1980,
while
 these figures in 1990 and 2000 were just 38% and 37% respectively. From the charts, the lowest segment was Australian adolescents unemployed, these figures were just under one-tenth in 1990 and smaller in 1980, until 2000 it was only a significant amount.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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