The charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or further education in 1980, 1990, and 2000.

The given charts illustrate the unemployed, employed or
further
education percentage of Australian
students
who graduated from secondary school in three different periods, 1980, 1990, and 2000. In general, those who were unemployed in three periods were not made up a large sector. It is
also
noticeable that the employed
students'
Change noun form
students
show examples
proportion was
dominated
Replace the word
dominant
show examples
in 1990 and 2000. It can be seen clearly that the majority of
students
had their own jobs after graduating. These figures made up more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half in 1990 and 2000, but
this
sector only accounted for a lower figure in 1980.
In contrast
, those
students
who decided to attend
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
further
education were
one-secondth
Correct your spelling
one-second
in 1980,
while
these figures in 1990 and 2000 were just 38% and 37% respectively. From the charts, the lowest segment was Australian adolescents unemployed, these figures were just under one-tenth in 1990 and smaller in 1980, until 2000 it was only a significant amount.
Submitted by thuhuyen16992qn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: