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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given figure illustrates the generation of electricity in
hydroelectric
Correct article usage
a hydroelectric
show examples
 grid station.
Overall
Linking Words
, we observe there are two mechanisms being performed in a power station. One during daytime in which electricity is produced.
While
Linking Words
 the other in nighttime during which
water
Use synonyms
 is pumped to
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
storages
Fix the agreement mistake
storage
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, we see a large dam is built next to
river
Add an article
the river
a river
show examples
, the
water
Use synonyms
 from
river
Add an article
the river
show examples
 comes to
reservoir
Add an article
the reservoir
a reservoir
show examples
 and is stored there. In
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 step, there is an intake door, in
morning
Add an article
the morning
show examples
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 open
whereas
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 night
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 closed. The
water
Use synonyms
 flows from
intake
Correct article usage
the intake
show examples
 and approaches towards
generator
Correct article usage
the generator
show examples
 to generate electricity. Reversible turbines are seen,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 during
Add an article
the day
show examples
day
Add a comma
,day
show examples
 they operate generators.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
 in the
dark
Add a comma
,dark
show examples
 they help in pumping
water
Use synonyms
 to
reservoir
Add an article
a reservoir
the reservoir
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the huge generators located in
power
Add an article
the power
show examples
 station are
further
Linking Words
 connected to power lines that
goes
Change the verb form
go
show examples
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 grid.
Lastly
Linking Words
, there is one more reservoir on
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 level. The
water
Use synonyms
 is stored there and
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 nighttime with the help of turbines is sent to
Add an article
the
a
show examples
narrow pipe.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • hydroelectric power station
  • reservoir
  • turbine
  • generate electricity
  • transmit
  • low-level reservoir
  • high-level reservoir
  • dam
  • cycle of electricity production
  • energy storage
  • flowing water
  • sustainability
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