IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #supermarkets #responsibility #amount #goods #customers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Reducing
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of packed stuff has lately become a debatable topic whether manufacturing and selling companies are responsible for that or the customers should ensure not to buy
such
Linking Words
 products .
According to
Linking Words
 my
Add a comma
,prospective
show examples
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
show examples
both
Use synonyms
 should take
Correct article usage
the neccessary
show examples
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 steps to do so .
Both
Use synonyms
 viewpoints
along with
Linking Words
 my opinion are discussed in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some groups of folks said that the makers and supermarkets should ensure that they keep more options of
non packaged
Add a hyphen
non-packaged
show examples
 materials
such
Linking Words
 as lentils and other edible products which are not
neccessarily
Correct your spelling
necessarily
 need to be packed rather than having only packaging items on their shelves . To add on , they can even encourage the buyers to bring their own recyclable bags by giving some extra discounts or
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 some lucrative offers .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , some believe that purchasers can bring a noticeable change by avoiding substances with a lot of packaging .
This
Linking Words
 is based on less demand , less production strategy. If the manufacturers will not get an appropriate amount of profit , they will definitely stop making
such
Linking Words
 stuff .
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will need educating and spreading awareness among customers about the negatives of packed materials
along with
Linking Words
positives
Correct article usage
the positives
show examples
 of using organic , raw and recycled stuff.
To conclude
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 , I opine that to make effective change
both
Use synonyms
 parties should come together . Manufacturing companies and superstores should think beyond profits
as well as
Linking Words
 customers should
also
Linking Words
 become aware of their duty towards their health
as well as
Linking Words
 towards
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 as these
both
Use synonyms
 are affected by using a lot of packaging goods.
Submitted by shavidhillain on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: