IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Scientist and the news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot be expect to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. What are your views? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Climate change has become a serious problem in recent years, and
this
Linking Words
 fact has
also
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 been revealed by loads of concrete research and professional scientists. Society is divided into two groups of
people
Use synonyms
, arguing about who,
individuals
Use synonyms
 or
government
Use synonyms
, should take responsibility for
this
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 result.
However
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, in my point of view,
government
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 and
individuals
Use synonyms
 should take joint responsibility for the issue.
Firstly
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, the
government
Use synonyms
 should impose some relevant laws to restrict factories and big companies, which would likely have huge carbon footprints. Putting some fines and punishments is an efficient way to reduce the emission of pollution and the quantity of plastic used.
Moreover
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, the law should not only restrict the company but imply
people
Use synonyms
 recycling and buying special trash bags.
For example
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, in Taipei City, citizens are required to buy exclusive trash bags, which are more expensive than
a traditional ones
Correct the article-noun agreement
traditional ones
a traditional one
show examples
, making
people
Use synonyms
 willing to reduce the amount of trash.
Although
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 the
government
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 has huge power to rule
people
Use synonyms
, whether the policy is successful, is all depending on
individuals
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' behaviour. As an individual, the
last
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 thing you should do is underestimate the power you have. Small movements can gradually change the world! As long as there was no demand for plastic utensils, paper lunch boxes, wrapping papers, and plastic bags, there was no supply of these things anymore.
Furthermore
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, the organizations held by the public have the ability to raise
people
Use synonyms
's attention.
For example
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, one of the eco-friendly organizations in Taiwan pressed the council to impose a law, which is forcing every beverage shop in Taiwan to provide a discount to every customer who brings their own cups. In conclusion, both
government
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 and
individuals
Use synonyms
 play an important role. I believe that cooperation between these two can make a big step in mitigating climate change.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is directly related to the topic and supports the main argument. Use linking words and transition signals to connect ideas more effectively.
task response
Make sure to address all parts of the question and provide a clear opinion on the issue. Include specific examples to support your points and maintain a balanced discussion of both government and individual responsibilities.
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