IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The given line graph depicts the changes of population in American states such as Columbia, Yamhill and Washington within the 60 years period.

The given line graph depicts the changes of population in American states such as Columbia, Yamhill and Washington within the 60 years period.
#line #changes #population #american #states #columbia #yamhill #washington #years #period
The given line graph depicts the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
population
 in American states
such
 as Columbia, Yamhill and Washington within the 60 years period.
Overall
, there was only one basic trend: upward. In 1940 and 2000, the highest amount of people
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lived in Washington,
whereas
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two states had the lowest number in the graph. It is apparently seen that,
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the year Washington had 75000 people.
Therefore
, there was a gradual increase till 1970,
then
 the change climbed sharply and reached a peak at 245
thousand
 in 2000. As is presented in the graph, the
population
 of Columbia and Yamhill had the lowest amount approximately twenty
thousand
 and thirty
thousand
 in 1940.
Moreover
, within 30 years the
population
 of both countries
inclemented
Correct your spelling
implemented
incremented
 gradually at a point of 35 and 45
thousand
, followed by a significant upward and the change in
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
population
 tripled from nearly 30000 to 90000
until
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the end of the year.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, thousand with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: