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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.
#information #employment #rates #countries #summarise #idea #comparisons
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The line graph compares
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the information on employment
rates
Use synonyms
 across six different countries in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 1995 and 2005. To summarize,
the
Change preposition
regarding the
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empolyment
Correct your spelling
employment
unemployment
rates
Use synonyms
 in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years,
Iceland
Use synonyms
 stood first for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
Switzerland
Use synonyms
 for
Female
Fix the agreement mistake
Females
show examples
. In the year 1995, the employment
rates
Use synonyms
 in
Iceland
Use synonyms
 for
Male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and In
Switerland
Correct your spelling
Switzerland
 for
Female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 was 70% and 65% respectively
where
Correct word choice
which
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thats
Correct your spelling
that's
 the highest,
whereas
Linking Words
 in Uk and
Australia
Add a comma
,Australia
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 approximately 55%
Male
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males
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 are employed
likewise
Linking Words
 in
Switzerland
Use synonyms
 and New Zealand with 25% each
are
Change the verb form
is
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 least witnessed.
Further
Linking Words
, for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
Switzerland
Use synonyms
, New Zealand and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 were between the values
similary
Correct your spelling
similarly
similar
, for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
Switzerland
Use synonyms
,
Iceland
Use synonyms
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. In the year 2005, the employment
Use synonyms
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
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 for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 in
Iceland
Use synonyms
 remains first
with
Change preposition
at
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 82% and for
female
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females
show examples
Switerland
Correct your spelling
Switzerland
consistanly
Correct your spelling
consistently
 improved to 78%.
However
Linking Words
, for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 other countries are margined with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 minimum of 68%. On the
flipside
Correct your spelling
flip side
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,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 countries ranges between 78% and 38%.
Submitted by gs250485 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words rates, iceland, switzerland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • economic indicators
  • comparative analysis
  • trends and patterns
  • economic factors
  • stability and change
  • sector-specific
  • job market
  • workforce participation
  • fluctuations
  • economic growth
  • unemployment
  • recession
  • boom
  • labor market dynamics
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