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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people no longer read newspapers or watch TV programs to get news. They get news about the world through the internet. ls this a positive or negative development?

There are many different views on whether it is beneficial for people to attain information about
news
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 from the Internet as opposed to traditional media.
While
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 newspapers and TV programs have many advantages, I would argue that there are more benefits than drawbacks to acquiring
news
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 in
this
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 innovative way. On the one hand, our old media still have positive impacts on offering objective
news
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 in the intricacies of our reality.
First,
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they can navigate to the truth by professional moral rules, expertise in a special field and the support of authorities.
For instance
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, they provide a reading resource free from mistakes commonly found on the Internet, leading to a clear view of the circumstances on the spot.
In addition
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, we live in a world which is
fast pace
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fast-paced
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, it is harder for junior generations to grasp some concepts from their daily lives.
Thus
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, reading or watching newspapers and TV can assist them to nurture an acumen to catch the core of chaos.
On the other hand
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, the network has become a vital part of spreading
news
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 reports.
To begin
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 with, it can update on time at the first spot and it can be checked or renewed easily without high costs, which means it can fix most problems in investigations they made before.
Secondly
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, we can tailor any messages we
got
Wrong verb form
get
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 to match our preferences, needs and lifestyles.
For example
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, our video apps use big-data technologies to dig into the willingness and preferences of its users of various
news
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 fields and contribute to success in catching their attention.
Moreover
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, the Internet sets lower thresholds
of
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for
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 obtaining messages than paper or TV media and users can get a glimpse of a part they want on their phone at the time gap
during
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while
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 waiting
buses
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for buses
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. In conclusion, I can understand the reasons why some people tip the balance in favour of newspapers or programs, but I do believe that networks can perform better and have more advantages than them.

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Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt adequately, but the response is not fully developed. It lacks depth in discussing the advantages and disadvantages of obtaining news from the internet compared to traditional media. The points made are not fully supported.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is mostly clear, with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas within paragraphs lacks clarity and coherence. The use of cohesive devices could be improved to enhance the flow of the essay.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are instances of unclear or inaccurate word choices. The use of more precise and appropriate vocabulary would enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Grammatical Range
There are some grammatical errors present, including errors in sentence structure and word form. While the essay conveys the intended meaning, greater accuracy in grammar and more complex sentence structures would elevate the language proficiency demonstrated.
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