IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Employers should give their staff at least four weeks’ holiday a year to make employees better at their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#employers #staff #four #weeks’ #holiday #year #employees #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A long
holiday
Use synonyms
 for
employees
Use synonyms
 at least once a year is gaining credence these days. I strongly support
this
Linking Words
 view since it not only allows
employees
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 more efficiently and makes family ties stronger When employers allow their staff members to enjoy a month-long
holiday
Use synonyms
, it allows them to rejuvenate. They usually
work
Use synonyms
 for long hours on a daily basis and
this
Linking Words
 builds monotony, boredom, and stress.
As a result
Linking Words
, their efficiency falls appreciably and the business revenues and profits suffer. A long
holiday
Use synonyms
 enables them to stay away from
work
Use synonyms
, reduces stress, and revitalizes them for
work
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when
employees
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 for a long duration, they get very little time for their family and friends.
This
Linking Words
 results in broken relationships and erodes the social fabric.
Consequently
Linking Words
,they come under extreme stress and are unable to focus on
work
Use synonyms
 . A long
holiday
Use synonyms
 every year allows these bonds to remain strong and keeps
employees
Use synonyms
 happy.
Finally
Linking Words
 , an extended break from
work
Use synonyms
 builds a relationship of mutual trust between
employees
Use synonyms
 and employers . When
employees
Use synonyms
 get a sufficiently long and well-deserved break from
work
Use synonyms
, their trust in the employer increases and they feel confident that the latter will take care of their needs.
This
Linking Words
 ultimately transpires into better productivity and greater profits for the company. In conclusion, if
employees
Use synonyms
 are given a long break from
work
Use synonyms
, not only will the profits and revenue of the companies increase, but
also
Linking Words
 they will be mentally and physically strong.
This
Linking Words
 will eventually bring economic prosperity and social stability.
Submitted by 2016792106 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: