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Band 5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The provided maps depict the first look of a public
park
 in 1920 when it
got
Verb problem
was
show examples
 opened and the same
park
 in today’s look.
Overall
, Over the period,
this
park
 underwent dramatic changes. Many facilities have been added to
this
 area
such
 as an amphitheatre, a children’s play area
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc. About
this
 green space, the locations of entrances did not change and they are still from Arnold Avenue and Eldon Street. In a look at the western part of
this
park
, there used to be a place for
seats
 which has been removed and the stage for musicians was converted into
Amphitheatre
Correct article usage
an Amphitheatre
show examples
 for concerts.
In addition
, the upper rose garden stands in its place but the bottom one was destroyed. Near these rose gardens, there used to be
seats
 which have been removed. In the middle of the
park
, the fountain from 1920 was destroyed to make way for a rose garden and four
seats
 surrounded that.
Moreover
, In the eastern part, a water feature was built in place of the glasshouse.
Furthermore
,
instead
 of
seats
 near the glasshouse, there was constructed an entrance to underground car parking. A children’s play area was developed rather than a pond for water plants.
Similarly
, there used to be a rose garden which was set up as a café. In conclusion, the playground has changed significantly since it first opened in 1920, and many modern infrastructures
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 added to the
park
Submitted by fatemeh.gh9797 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is organized to present a clear topic and supporting details.
task response
Provide a clear overview and conclusion that effectively summarize and address the key features of the maps.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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