IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Government should spend money on railways than roads. To what extent so you agree or disagree with the statement.

#government #money #railways #roads
People
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is important for Government to use more resources in constructing railways
instead
 of roads.
This
 essay
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with the above state in the sense that it will ease the transportation of certain goods and reduce traffic jam. In recent times , roads do not
last
 long
due to
heavy weight
Add a hyphen
heavy-weight
show examples
 vehicles and goods being transported on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis. These trends
forms
Change the verb form
form
show examples
 pod
hooles
Correct your spelling
holes
 which causes accident and loss of lives and properties.
these incidence
Change the determiner
this incidence
these incidences
show examples
 can be
avioded
Correct your spelling
avoided
 if more railways are being built that will convey products which exert more weight on road tracks,
such
 as granite,
coal
Correct word choice
and coal
show examples
.
Pertoleum
Correct your spelling
Petroleum
 and containers,
hence
 reducing the formation of pod holes and decreasing the
occurance
Correct your spelling
occurrence
 of accidents.
Furthermore
,
constructing
Replace the word
construction
show examples
 of
railway
Correct article usage
a railway
show examples
 will be more beneficial in enhancing
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 traffic system which will ease stress and improve the activities of daily living of the common man,
that is
 to say, there be
puntuality
Correct your spelling
punctuality
 among
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 in their various place of work and parents can go home early.
For example
, in some big cities in
devloping
Correct your spelling
developing
 countries in
africa
Change the capitalization
Africa
show examples
, people spend hours
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 traffic,
thus
 going about their businesses late which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
negatuvde
Correct your spelling
negative
 effects on them and their families.
In addition
, linking railways across states make it easy for
inter state
Correct your spelling
interstate
show examples
 travel, whereby family member
friends
Correct word choice
and friends
show examples
 can
vist
Correct your spelling
visit
 each other
hence
 maintaining relationships and bonding. Conclusively, it is of uttermost
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 for money should be allocated
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 building
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
instead
 roads for there will be
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
show examples
 in expressway accidents,
gridlock
Correct word choice
and gridlock
show examples
.and enhance household relationships.
Submitted by zikahill48 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: