IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#households #income #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar graph illustrates how many houses there were in the US through the yearly wages in the years 2007, 2011 and 2015.
Overall
 , the
number
 of households earned $100000 and more that took place at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher position
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over the period .
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
annual
income
 between $50000 and $74999
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
remained constant with approximately 15
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 households. As can be seen in 2007 , families gaining
income
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
 than $100000 in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 salaries were recorded to be at the top of the list with 30
million
 . The figure rosed around 35
million
 in 2015.
Moreover
 the
number
 of families
Change preposition
with income
show examples
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
 $50000- $74999 and $75000-$99999
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
two
proposition
Fix the agreement mistake
propositions
show examples
 remain unchanged
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 20
million
 and 15
million
.
Furthermore
 , 25
million
 homes were yearly wages that $25000
orr
Correct your spelling
or
 less than in 2007 .
While
 the
number
household
Change preposition
of household
show examples
 increased significantly and reached 28
million
 in 2015. The ratio of
income
$
Change preposition
of $
show examples
25000-$49999 that accounting
26
Change preposition
for 26
show examples
milllion
Correct your spelling
million
 in 2007 which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slightly rose with 30
milllion
Correct your spelling
million
 house yearly wages .
Whereas
 , in 2015 the
number
 of homes declined and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
29
million
 families
income
.
Submitted by jeetkacha13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, income, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household distribution
  • income brackets
  • annual income
  • percentage change
  • trend analysis
  • income group
  • significant increase/decrease
  • steady growth/decline
  • fluctuations
  • compared to
  • in contrast
  • notably
  • median income
  • poverty line
  • economic factors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: