An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

#people #surgery #appearance #operation #change #development

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Cosmetic

surgery

Use synonyms

is becoming increasingly popular in

this

Linking Words

modern world.

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

of the population

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

deciding to have

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apply

show examples

cosmetic

surgery

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, to enhance their physical

appearance

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. In

this

Linking Words

essay

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,essay

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I will discuss the negative

developmet

Correct your spelling

development

of having

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apply

show examples

surgery

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. In

this

Linking Words

currrent

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current

modern world where technology is advancing continuously. There are a lot of sophisticated

equipments

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equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

and devices that can

allter

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alter

the physical

appearance

Use synonyms

of a person.

This

Linking Words

has a negative impact

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

becase

Correct your spelling

because

it gives pressure and

unsatisfaction

Replace the word

dissatisfaction

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people especially

Correct word choice

because it

show examples

easily influences our younger generations. They are not content

Change preposition

with

show examples

their

appearance

Use synonyms

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

leads them to undergo

surgery

Use synonyms

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

a student who is being bullied in school

due to

Linking Words

her

appearance

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might develop low

self esteem

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self-esteem

show examples

and depression.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, she might decide to do the operation.

This

Linking Words

might solve her problem but, in the long

run

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,run

show examples

the side effect of

this

Linking Words

will appear. It might cause more harm to her

overall

Linking Words

appearance

Use synonyms

and health. There are lots of

report

Fix the agreement mistake

reports

show examples

regarding failed operations and the end result was deformity of the operated sites. Often the operated

persons

Change to a genitive case

person's

persons'

show examples

appearance

Use synonyms

was much more

diffferent

Correct your spelling

different

than their previous one.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there is a good side to

this

Linking Words

For instance

Linking Words

, a person who was involved in an accident

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apply

show examples

can have a restorative operation.

To conclude

Linking Words

, having

Remove the article

apply

show examples

surgery

Use synonyms

should be out of

necesiity

Correct your spelling

necessity

. I believe that a good family upbringing should start inside the family. Parents should teach their children to be satisfied with what they have, be confident with who they are and not be pressured by the demands and whim of their environment.

Submitted by Anneya on Fri Aug 18 2023

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Idealized beauty standards
Cosmetic surgery
Advancements in medical technology
Socially acceptable
Self-improvement
Psychological well-being
Competitive workforce
Youthful appearance
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)
Physical appearance

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An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

nternational tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions on this?

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People often find it difficult to adapt to new situations in their lives. Why do you think this is? What measures can you suggest to make it easier?

Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?