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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site
#maps #show #area #town #norbiton #future #development #site
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The Two maps illustrate the industrial
area
Use synonyms
 in the Town of Norbiton
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and the planned
future
Use synonyms
 development of the place.
Overall
Linking Words
, the maps
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the main features
in addition
Linking Words
many
Change preposition
to many
show examples
 comparisons between now and
Use synonyms
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
. Notably, the
area
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 town will be more modern and full of facilities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
area
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the north side shows a
river
Use synonyms
, and across the
Use synonyms
river
Add a comma
,river
show examples
 there is an
area
Use synonyms
 called Farmland. The first map
indicate
Change the verb form
indicates
show examples
 a Norbition industrial
area
Use synonyms
 in the present.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it shows only factories in the surrounding. It shows three factories in the north, which are close to the
river
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 two of them in the south, one
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the east and two
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the western north
area
Use synonyms
. The second map conduct planned
future
Use synonyms
 development in the industrial
area
Use synonyms
 in the town of Norbition, it shows more facilities like;
playground
Add an article
a playground
show examples
 in the north beside the
river
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
school
Add an article
a school
the school
show examples
 in the east, shops in the west and a medical
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 in the south. The most significant
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 between the present site and the planned one for the
future
Use synonyms
 is all of the factories replaced with houses.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
area
Use synonyms
 will be full of new facilities that will help citizens.
Submitted by gamilkhaled3 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "therefore".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, future, river with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • development
  • infrastructure
  • manufacturing
  • facilities
  • transition
  • planning
  • commercial
  • residential
  • renovation
  • urban planning
  • sustainability
  • environmental impact
  • local economy
  • rejuvenation
  • construction
  • modernization
  • accessibility
  • demolition
  • gentrification
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