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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You are living in a University residence, and you have a problem with the high levels of noise from a new campus restaurant which is open until midnight. Write a letter to the governor of the University. In your letter, complain about the situation say why this is a problem and propose ways to reduce the noise Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

#university #residence #levels #noise #campus #restaurant #midnight #governor #situation #addresses
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Dear Mr. Smith, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about the problem of the high level of noise from a new campus restaurant which is open late at night. I am explaining the situation to you as there is loud music playing daily in the new restaurant which creates a huge headache for the students because we need to study as our examinations are around the corner but we are unable to concentrate properly
due to
 the loud sound.
Moreover
, learners need to wake up early as they have to practise for the sports competition which will happen next month but they are unable to sleep on time because of noise. It is a humble request to you that please solve
this
 issue and make some strict rules about playing music at night. Please take immediate action so that students can focus well on their studies. Yours Faithfully, Love
Submitted by tajinder.panag on

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Task Response
To improve your task response, make sure to propose specific solutions to the problem. While the request for strict rules is a start, suggesting concrete steps, such as setting a noise curfew or implementing soundproofing measures, would make your response more complete and persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider using more transition words and phrases to link your ideas more smoothly. Although your letter follows a logical structure, transitions like 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' or 'Therefore' can enhance the flow of your ideas and make your writing more cohesive.
General Writing Advice
Your letter could benefit from varied sentence structures to showcase your language skills further. Try incorporating more complex sentences and different types of sentences to make your writing more engaging and dynamic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • residence
  • disturbance
  • disruption
  • academic performance
  • mental well-being
  • soundproofing
  • relocation
  • adjustment
  • mitigate
  • concerns
  • effective solution
  • regulations
  • considerate
  • residents
  • adversely affected
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