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Band 5

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives

#aim #science #people #lives
Nowadays, the most significant thing is
science
 and
technology
.
Moreover
,
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 modern
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
 people aim to use
Science
 more often.
However
, does
Science
 improve people’s
life
? Notably,
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 tend to use what made their
life
 easier and aim to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
faster
ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
way
show examples
. When what
science
 means, we think immediately about AI and
technology
, in spite of that we can ensure that AI is being used more often these days
for example
 in schools and universities and even
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 work. So AI now is a big part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
life
 but it effected
people’s
Change noun form
people
show examples
 so now they are more lazy and
reliable
Correct quantifier usage
more reliable
show examples
. Closely, Data showed that people could not live without
technology
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 after the pandemic.
Therefore
, people are demanding to find
a new ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
new ways
a new way
show examples
 to improve
Science
 each day.
Due to
 that,
Science
 did a good job
improving
Change preposition
of improving
show examples
 lives, but at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 the world will only
depends
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
 on
technology
 and
science
 only. The main aspect
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 is that
life
 is getting harder and
demanding
Correct quantifier usage
more demanding
show examples
 which made humans on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 think they need
science
 in every small detail to enhance the way they spent on living each and every day.
Although
, studies showed that some countries still suffer because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
lake
Correct your spelling
lack
show examples
 of
science
 and it’s becoming harder for them to control simple duties like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs and data in the courts
also
, in spite of what the world has
fight
Change the verb form
fought
show examples
 during Covid but still some countries stayed on the same old track. In conclusion,
Science
 and
technology
needed
Add a missing verb
are needed
show examples
 in our modern
life
.
However
, it should be more controlled and
to use
Change the verb form
used
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
only when needed.
On the other hand
, to still live like humans and to have the power of thinking and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 our own jobs.
Submitted by gamilkhaled3 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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