IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. others say that there are more important environmental problems. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, some people believe that environmental issues are caused because of
losing
Verb problem
apply
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certain
animals
Use synonyms
 and plants;
however
Linking Words
, others argue that the problems are caused by hazardous cases. As long as I’m I agree with the latter opinion, I’ll explain both perspectives as follows. There is no doubt that
animals
Use synonyms
 and plants play a crucial role in keeping the environment balanced and losing some of them will negatively affect the whole planet.
By contrast
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, we are witnessing
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of several plants and some endangered species of
animals
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, a study concluded by Harvard University showed that the main reason for
such
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 loss is the lack of regulations which prohibit animal hunting.
Moreover
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, using particular types of rare
animals
Use synonyms
 in important medication is regarded as a dilemma. Another point of view
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
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 that various effects must be
put
Verb problem
taken
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 into consideration.
For instance
Linking Words
, global warming, nuclear wastes, non-renewable energy and carbon dioxide affect the eco-system dramatically.
Although
Linking Words
 that, states turn a blind eye to them and continue using them. COP 27, which was held in Sharm El-Sheikh
last
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 December and was attended by more than 50 presidents from all around the globe, urged the states to stop using them. Provided that the outcomes of the conference were effective, we might see a better world after 30 years. Despite the fact that countries through governments constitute a main contributor to the problem, humankind has a significant responsibility regarding that matter. To summarize, I believe that hands must be crossed for a better future.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, treaties and conventions must be legislated to see a green world with fewer environmental issues.

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task response
Make sure to address both views clearly and provide balanced arguments for each perspective.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be stronger and more clearly connected to the main body of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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