the table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of britain. the table shows where the money came from and charts show how it was distributed.

the table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of britain. the table shows where the money came from and charts show how it was distributed.
The table and charts give data about the police budget
in
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for
show examples
two years in one city
of
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in
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Britain. The table illustrates the resources and the charts depict how they use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in different areas. The police
has
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have
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a specific amount of
money
to spend each year. As
,
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apply
show examples
the table shows there
was
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were
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about 776
milion
Correct your spelling
million
ponds which
earns
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earn
show examples
from
national
Add an article
the national
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government
in both 2017 and 2078.
Moreover
, taxes are a good source of
money
for the
polititions
Correct your spelling
politicians
after
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
government
and local taxes earn during the year. There are three areas that the
money
should
spent
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spend
show examples
. In 2017, three-fourths of the
money
consumed
Add a missing verb
was consumed
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because the
government
should pay all the salaries which include officers and staff.
Furthermore
, more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
15 per cent was distributed in construction work and transportation.
While
,
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apply
show examples
the technology has the least percentage of cost in 2017. After one year the ratio of salaries decrease but they used up 6%
money
more than
2017
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in 2017
show examples
on the development of the technology systems and so on.
Although
, the bonus of the buildings and transport stay the same amount.
Overall
, there are several sources to get
money
from and
also
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
main areas
that
Change preposition
to that
show examples
the
money
should allocate .The best source of
money
for
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
is
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
government
.
Moreover
, the dominion should occupy a lot of
money
for the payment.
Submitted by javadsaady1992 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words money, government with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • funding sources
  • government policies
  • economic conditions
  • community services
  • crime prevention
  • public safety
  • significant increase/decrease
  • distribution
  • assessment
  • reflection
  • allocation shifts
  • budget comparison
  • impact analysis
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