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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of britain. the table shows where the money came from and charts show how it was distributed.

the table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of britain. the table shows where the money came from and charts show how it was distributed.
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #show
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The table and charts give data about the police budget
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 two years in one city
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Britain. The table illustrates the resources and the charts depict how they use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in different areas. The police
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a specific amount of
money
Use synonyms
 to spend each year. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the table shows there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 about 776
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 ponds which
earns
Change the verb form
earn
show examples
 from
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 in both 2017 and 2078.
Moreover
Linking Words
, taxes are a good source of
money
Use synonyms
 for the
polititions
Correct your spelling
politicians
after
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 and local taxes earn during the year. There are three areas that the
money
Use synonyms
 should
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
. In 2017, three-fourths of the
money
Use synonyms
consumed
Add a missing verb
was consumed
show examples
 because the
government
Use synonyms
 should pay all the salaries which include officers and staff.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
15 per cent was distributed in construction work and transportation.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the technology has the least percentage of cost in 2017. After one year the ratio of salaries decrease but they used up 6%
money
Use synonyms
 more than
2017
Change preposition
in 2017
show examples
 on the development of the technology systems and so on.
Although
Linking Words
, the bonus of the buildings and transport stay the same amount.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are several sources to get
money
Use synonyms
 from and
also
Linking Words
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 main areas
that
Change preposition
to that
show examples
 the
money
Use synonyms
 should allocate .The best source of
money
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 is
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
government
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the dominion should occupy a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 for the payment.
Submitted by javadsaady1992 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, government with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • funding sources
  • government policies
  • economic conditions
  • community services
  • crime prevention
  • public safety
  • significant increase/decrease
  • distribution
  • assessment
  • reflection
  • allocation shifts
  • budget comparison
  • impact analysis
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