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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries it is traditional for men to work and for women to stay at home to look after the family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#countries #men #work #women #home
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Traditionally, individuals claim that in a family females should be at
home
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 and care about all homework stuff
while
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 males usually make money and
protects
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protect
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 their families.
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However
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,However
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this
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 trend changed over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
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 and there are appear many discussions about another view. My opinion is that are many benefits to changing responsibilities but
i
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I
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 was raised in
Correct article usage
a tradition
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tradition
Replace the word
traditional
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 family and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 think
what
Correct word choice
that
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 women
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 stay at
home
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 and growing the kids
while
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 men are working. The obvious argument
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 if
female
Correct article usage
a female
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dicied
Correct your spelling
decides
 to
work
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household
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 undoubtedly will make more
many
Correct your spelling
money
show examples
 and it affects to well-being
the
Change preposition
of the
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 family.
In other words
Linking Words
 if
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
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 will
work
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 just a one person there
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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will be less money to make some holidays trip.
For example
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,
in
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apply
show examples
nowadays there are many cases
what
Correct word choice
where
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 two
percon
Correct your spelling
person
 stay at
work
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 and they can afford to hire a nanny and make
big
Add an article
a big
the big
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trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
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 around the world
while
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 other cases, unfortunately, can not make it possible. 
On the other hand
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, when
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
home
Correct article usage
the home
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 and growing the kids that when
household
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 spend
there
Replace the word
their
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time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
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 comfort
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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couses
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causes
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
stronger feelings and
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 kin atmosphere
while
Linking Words
family
Correct article usage
a family
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 where all parents stay at
work
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 and do not emit
time
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
household
Correct article usage
the household
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 do not have that atmosphere.
This
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mean
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means
show examples
 that individuals spend a lot of
time
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 to
work
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duites
Correct your spelling
duties
 they do not have
time
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 for their
household
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.
For instance
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, we can observe that family witch chose traditional case there
are
Change the verb form
is
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more
Correct article usage
a more
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 friendly and warm atmosphere indeed. In conclusion, despite the arguments mentioned their more significant argument
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 family should
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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allocate their
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
home
Use synonyms
duites
Correct your spelling
duties
 and care about
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional roles
  • gender roles
  • household management
  • child rearing
  • emotional well-being
  • financial stability
  • productivity
  • gender inequality
  • personal growth
  • professional growth
  • economic dependency
  • skill atrophy
  • social isolation
  • job prospects
  • personal fulfillment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: