Some businesses now say that no-one can smoke cigarettes in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree with this?

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Smoking in public facilities has been banned by governments and businesses. Some
people
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feel irritated by their cigarette smoke and some
people
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Add a missing verb
are concern
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
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about the health effects of both active and passive smoking. In my opinion, I align with the governments and businesses that are banned from smoking in public places. At
first,
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Some
smokers
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believe that smoking boosts their metabolism and helps them engage in activities. Research on cigarettes suggests that smoking can stimulate the body to release endorphin hormone, which can increase the heart rate.
As a result
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,
smokers
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feel energized and courageous
while
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smoking.
On the contrary
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, the smoke from cigarettes can cause discomfort to others, making them breathe harder.
Moreover
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, smoking
while
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riding or working in places with a higher potential for fire incidents can increase the risk of accidents. On the other side, some
people
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also
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have a concern about the healthy air that they breathe. Recent research has shown that one of the utmost dangerous diseases today is tuberculosis
disease
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, which affects the lungs.
This
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disease
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can result from smoking, and it's not limited to active
smokers
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; passive
smokers
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also
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have a higher chance of contracting the
disease
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. In conclusion, by implementing rules
for prohibited
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to prohibit
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smoking in public places or in business areas,
the
Correct article usage
a
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number of
people
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could get more pure of fresh air. If
people
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had more pure air, the potential
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disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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like tuberculosis
can
Wrong verb form
could
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be reduced.
In addition
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, it
also
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can reduce the
accident
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accidents
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that could occur from smoking ash, like explosions at oil stations.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents a clear opinion but could be more detailed about the reasons for your stance. Make sure to outline your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that reflects the main idea and connects logically to your opinion.
task achievement
Try to include more varied and specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, mention specific studies about smoking effects.
task achievement
Your stance is clear throughout the essay, making it easy to follow your opinion on the smoking ban.
task achievement
You have presented multiple viewpoints regarding the smoking issue, showing an understanding of different perspectives.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • second-hand smoke
  • respiratory diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • productivity
  • fire hazards
  • environmental advantages
  • aesthetics
  • non-smokers
  • personal freedom
  • well-being
  • smoking bans
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