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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Improvement in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?

#improvement #health #education #trade #development #nations #governments #responsibility #areas
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Some people believe in the notion that more economically developed countries should help poorer ones. I only partly disagree with the
above stated
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above-stated
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.
First,
Linking Words
there is no doubt that health, education and trade are the most important areas in a
country
Use synonyms
's development and need special attention from the government. Without an adequate healthcare and education system the people of the
country
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 would not have the necessary abilities to help the
country
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 grow economically, which in consequence leads to less available funding for everything else. The
above described
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above-described
show examples
 cycle can be broken with the help from other richer countries but in no way these nations should take any kind of responsibility for
the others well-being
Change to a genitive case
the well-being of the other
the other's well-being
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. On one hand, providing help will definitely benefit the other side
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 may be able to repay later on, and it is
also
Linking Words
 a step forward to a better globalist future, where everyone is taking care of one another and paying attention only to their current situation, it is worth noting that in today's
world
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,world
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this
Linking Words
 is almost impossible because the more stable government should take resources from its people to give to the
comunity
Correct your spelling
community
 of a
country
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 in a worse state,
therefore
Linking Words
 risking its own stability and citizens' live quality a decision not worth taking. In conclusion, for more developed countries to help the poor once is a great idea in theory but it is hard to achieve without helping one suffering from
this
Linking Words
.
Submitted by evamironova65 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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