the chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee nd tea buying and drinking habits

the chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee nd tea buying and drinking habits
The provided chart depicts the outcome of research on
people
who consume
coffee
and tea whether buying or drinking in five cities in Australia during the
last
four weeks. It is clearly observed from the graph that
people
had a stronger willingness to go to a café for these drinks. Whilst, fewer of them preferred to purchase fresh
coffee
during the same period. The figure for the public who brought fresh
coffee
in Sydney was approximately as equal to that of Melbourne about 45%. Whilst,
people
from Hobart had less willing to purchase fresh
coffee
about 40%.
In addition
, the proportions of
people
in Brisbane and Adelaide who bought fresh
coffee
were as equal to each other just under 35%.
Furthermore
,
About
Change preposition
For
show examples
people
who bought instant
coffee
in the
last
4 weeks, the most purchasing amount accounted for Hobart nearly 55%
however
,
this
figure decreased for
people
in Brisbane by around 53%.
While
the percentage of the public who purchased instant
coffee
in Adelaide was 50%.
Similarly
,
this
trend had a decrease for
people
in Melbourne and Sydney and those were 48% and 45%, respectively.
Finally
, the percentage of individuals who went to a café in Hobart was as much as that of Melbourne around 63%.
This
café lovers trend decreased to 61% for
people
in Sydney.
Whereas
,
people
from Brisbane and Adelaide went to a café less often and these percentages were approximately 55% and 49%, respectively.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, café with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • percentage
  • frequency
  • preference
  • health benefits
  • caffeine content
  • cultural significance
  • consumption
  • trends
  • venues
  • social aspects
  • beverage
  • shift
  • influence
  • comparison
  • analysis
  • discussion
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