the chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee nd tea buying and drinking habits

the chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee nd tea buying and drinking habits
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The provided chart depicts the outcome of research on
people
Use synonyms
who consume
coffee
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and tea whether buying or drinking in five cities in Australia during the
last
Linking Words
four weeks. It is clearly observed from the graph that
people
Use synonyms
had a stronger willingness to go to a café for these drinks. Whilst, fewer of them preferred to purchase fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
during the same period. The figure for the public who brought fresh
coffee
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in Sydney was approximately as equal to that of Melbourne about 45%. Whilst,
people
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from Hobart had less willing to purchase fresh
coffee
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about 40%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the proportions of
people
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in Brisbane and Adelaide who bought fresh
coffee
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were as equal to each other just under 35%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
About
Change preposition
For
show examples
people
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who bought instant
coffee
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in the
last
Linking Words
4 weeks, the most purchasing amount accounted for Hobart nearly 55%
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
figure decreased for
people
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in Brisbane by around 53%.
While
Linking Words
the percentage of the public who purchased instant
coffee
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in Adelaide was 50%.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend had a decrease for
people
Use synonyms
in Melbourne and Sydney and those were 48% and 45%, respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
, the percentage of individuals who went to a café in Hobart was as much as that of Melbourne around 63%.
This
Linking Words
café lovers trend decreased to 61% for
people
Use synonyms
in Sydney.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
people
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from Brisbane and Adelaide went to a café less often and these percentages were approximately 55% and 49%, respectively.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, café with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • percentage
  • frequency
  • preference
  • health benefits
  • caffeine content
  • cultural significance
  • consumption
  • trends
  • venues
  • social aspects
  • beverage
  • shift
  • influence
  • comparison
  • analysis
  • discussion
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