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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
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There is no doubt that smartphones have become an essential and important tool for young people in all areas
in
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of
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 their lives. Some
kids
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use
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 these devices
very
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for very
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 long
hours
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. I think
this
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 is a bad habit and it can create enormous impacts on their lives. In
this
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 essay, I will indicate why
this
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 is a bad development with relevant examples. First and foremost,
internet
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the internet
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 could be very dangerous for teenagers. They can enter unsafe pages very easily.
For instance
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, they can see adult
contents
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content
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 or they can communicate with bad people and it can affect and change their
psycology
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psychology
 in
horrible
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a horrible
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way
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ways
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. To protect them from these terrible sides of the network, parents should watch their
kids
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while
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 they are using
the
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their
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phones
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. In
this
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 way, they can avoid some negative influences of these
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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.
Secondly
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, it can influence their mental and physical health. When they spend a lot of
time
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 on
phone
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the phone
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instead
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 of spending
time
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 with other
kids
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 or their family members, they can be anti-social in the future.
On the other hand
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, when children spend
time
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 with their friends they are being more active than normal times.
As a result
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 of these, they will do
less
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fewer
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 physical and social activities when they
use
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 their
phones
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long
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for long
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hours
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. Parents can
use
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time
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setting
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settings
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 on
the
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their
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phones
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 to control the total
hours
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 of
use
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phones
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of phones
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. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 there are various reasons for why spending many
hours
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 on smartphones for
kids
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. These problems are not insurmountable. It is parents’ responsibility to tackle these pertinent issues, and they begin by considering some of the solutions proposed above.
Submitted by sezencizmecigil on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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