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Band 5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
There is no doubt that smartphones have become an essential and important tool for young people in all areas
in
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of
show examples
 their lives. Some
kids
use
 these devices
very
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for very
show examples
 long
hours
. I think
this
 is a bad habit and it can create enormous impacts on their lives. In
this
 essay, I will indicate why
this
 is a bad development with relevant examples. First and foremost,
internet
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the internet
show examples
 could be very dangerous for teenagers. They can enter unsafe pages very easily.
For instance
, they can see adult
contents
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content
show examples
 or they can communicate with bad people and it can affect and change their
psycology
Correct your spelling
psychology
 in
horrible
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a horrible
show examples
way
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ways
show examples
. To protect them from these terrible sides of the network, parents should watch their
kids
while
 they are using
the
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their
show examples
phones
. In
this
 way, they can avoid some negative influences of these
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
.
Secondly
, it can influence their mental and physical health. When they spend a lot of
time
 on
phone
Correct article usage
the phone
show examples
instead
 of spending
time
 with other
kids
 or their family members, they can be anti-social in the future.
On the other hand
, when children spend
time
 with their friends they are being more active than normal times.
As a result
 of these, they will do
less
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fewer
show examples
 physical and social activities when they
use
 their
phones
long
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for long
show examples
hours
. Parents can
use
time
setting
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settings
show examples
 on
the
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their
show examples
phones
 to control the total
hours
 of
use
phones
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of phones
show examples
. In conclusion,
it is clear that
 there are various reasons for why spending many
hours
 on smartphones for
kids
. These problems are not insurmountable. It is parents’ responsibility to tackle these pertinent issues, and they begin by considering some of the solutions proposed above.
Submitted by sezencizmecigil on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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