IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people say that the use of animals for the purpose of experiments is cruel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

#people #animals #purpose #experiments
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is
asd
Correct your spelling
sad
 but true that animal testing is
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
inevitable for
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 of mankind
however
 utilizing
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 is unwise and improper in many ways. I strongly agree that it is unjustified and
creul
Correct your spelling
cruel
 to use
animals
 for experiments.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 views. some people believe using
animals
 in any kind of process is barbaric . In some
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 ethically wrong because of some spiritual reasons . Other than that , they
also
 feel the pain
while
undergo
Change the verb form
undergoing
show examples
 some extreme
procedure
Fix the agreement mistake
procedures
show examples
.
In addition
 , some cosmetic companies use animal
plecenta
Correct your spelling
placenta
 for
ageing
Add an article
the ageing
an ageing
show examples
 process which is
unethicall
Correct your spelling
unethical
unethically
 and brutal. To, exemplify , cosmetic
comapny
Correct your spelling
company
 uses
animal's
Change noun form
animal
show examples
 skin to make branded shoes and jackets which is not right . analysing and explaining
further
 ,
animals
 are important to maintain our ecosystem. They play a vital role in
chain
Add an article
the chain
show examples
 of
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
 chain
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 biodiversity.
Moreover
 in some research scientists give some drugs to experiment if
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will affect human in
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 way or not and
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 of
this
 unknown drug
animals
 suffer and sometimes it get them killed. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example , many
animlas
Correct your spelling
animals
 got killed by some
lethel
Correct your spelling
lethal
other
 drugs
while
research
Correct article usage
the research
show examples
 process in
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 during
pandemic
Add an article
a pandemic
the pandemic
show examples
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 some people hold the opinion that it is important for
Correct article usage
the devleopment
show examples
devleopment
Correct your spelling
development
 of science. some says that
aimals
Correct your spelling
animals
 are less valuable than human and because human and
animals
 are similar in many ways
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 beneficial to do
exeperiment
Correct your spelling
experiment
experiments
 on animal rather humans. To illustrate, during covid time , experiments had done
chamapnzee
Correct your spelling
chimpanzee
chimpanzees
 for
vaccine
Correct article usage
the vaccine
show examples
 and it got
succsessful
Correct your spelling
successful
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
way there were
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
 life saved by that vaccine so its inevitable. To summarise , testing on
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 is unjustified in many ways as its
noth
Correct your spelling
not
 ethically right
as well as
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
brutal .
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 using
animals
 in
medical
Add an article
the medical
a medical
show examples
trial
Fix the agreement mistake
trials
show examples
 should be permitted if there is no alternative but for
cosmetic
Add an article
the cosmetic
show examples
 industry
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 should be strictly banned.
Submitted by bhumikashah1414 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: