IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In the last decade there has been a great increase in global air travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think its is a good thing?

#decade #air #travel
It is indisputable that global
air
travel
 has increased rapidly during the
last
 four decades. It allows
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ease of transportation
as well as
 mitigates the distance between countries. In
this
 essay, I am going to shed light on
this
 topic
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 exploring the main causes for
this
 improvement and the benefits. In the past, people used to use traditional
methods
 to move from
one
 distance to another
such
 as using animals merely as Horses or Camels.
While
, mankind started to identify other ways, including trains and vehicles. After
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 years, planes were invented as
one
 of the powerful transportation
methods
 that allows to reduce distances between various world's continents where you can't use the traditional
methods
 to
travel
.
In addition
, traders were able to carry immense quantities of commodities,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
 food, electronics
as well as
 heavy products.
Thus
,
air
travel
 has changed the concept of transportation over the years.
Moreover
, Another upside of national
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
 is the safety and cost. A number of statistics have shown that the cost of travelling
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
flights
Fix the agreement mistake
flight
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 decreased over the few years.
Hence
,
air
travel
 becomes more accessible and affordable by nations compared to the past.
Therefore
, it has been found that planes
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
one
 of the safest ways to
travel
 nowadays in comparison to other
methods
. In conclusion, no
one
 can deny that
air
travel
 has a great impact on our lives in the
mean time
Correct your spelling
meantime
show examples
. Since, it makes the process of travelling easier,
accessible
Correct quantifier usage
more accessible
show examples
, and cheaper.
Thus
, many governments
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
 in improving their airports and services provided to travellers.
Submitted by aya88.issa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Disposable income
  • Aviation technology
  • Efficient
  • Proliferation
  • Budget airlines
  • Globalization
  • Tourism
  • Social media
  • Promotional activities
  • Economic development
  • Cultural exchange
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon emissions
  • Climate change
  • Over-tourism
  • Local resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: