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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Brisk Café, by season. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Brisk Café, by season. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#sales #food #items #café #season #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar charts compare the daily sales average of several items between
summer
Use synonyms
 and
winter
Use synonyms
. The products are hot
coffee
Use synonyms
, iced
coffee
Use synonyms
, ice cream, soup and salad which are sold at the Brisk Café. We can tell from the diagram that
seasons
Use synonyms
 have a
strictly
Change the adverb
strict
show examples
 influence on servings of hot
coffee
Use synonyms
 and iced
coffee
Use synonyms
. Hot
coffee
Use synonyms
sales
Replace the word
sells
show examples
 around 75
cups
Use synonyms
 per day in
winter
Use synonyms
 but only serves
30cups
Correct your spelling
30 cups
 per day in
summer
Use synonyms
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 the servings of iced
coffee
Use synonyms
 are averagely purchased 40
cups
Use synonyms
 for one day in
summer
Use synonyms
 but not even reach 10
cups
Use synonyms
 in
winter
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the requirement
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 ice cream in
summer
Use synonyms
 is higher than in
winter
Use synonyms
, the difference is just about 10 servings which is not
that
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 huge as hot
coffee
Use synonyms
 and iced
coffee
Use synonyms
. Another product which is affected by
seasons
Use synonyms
 is soup. The selling in
winter
Use synonyms
 is better than in
summer
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, salad is the only item having the same numbers of consumption in both
seasons
Use synonyms
. The graph reveals how
seasons
Use synonyms
 impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
consumers’ choices of food. Unlike iced
coffee
Use synonyms
, hot
coffee
Use synonyms
, ice cream and soup which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
primarily depend on
seasons
Use synonyms
, salad has a steady average of daily sales.
Submitted by s99104032 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words summer, winter, coffee, seasons, cups with synonyms.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average daily sales
  • Selected food items
  • Seasonal variation
  • Trends
  • Fluctuations
  • Comparison
  • Preferences
  • Anomalies
  • Promotions
  • Stock adjustment
  • Seasonal influence
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