IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph shows the number of people taking parts in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph shows the number of people taking parts in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing Task 1
#minutes #people #parts #kinds #sports #region #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates how many people from different areas participated in
basketball
Use synonyms
,
tennis
Use synonyms
,
badminton
Use synonyms
 and rugby from 1985 to 2005, a period of
20years
Correct your spelling
20 years
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
participation
Use synonyms
 in rugby dramatically declined,
while
Linking Words
 the number of individuals in
tennis
Use synonyms
 increased over the period. But
Correct your spelling
participation
iparticipation
Correct your spelling
participation
 in
badminton
Use synonyms
 and
basketball
Use synonyms
 steady
ramainded
Correct your spelling
remained
 In 1985, The most popular sport among
indiviuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 was
rughby
Correct your spelling
rugby
,
begin
Correct pronoun usage
which begin
show examples
 participated 250
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 was far higher than
basketball
Use synonyms
 and
badminton
Use synonyms
, which were under the number of 100,
while
Linking Words
participation
Use synonyms
 in
tennis
Use synonyms
 was just 150. The number of
Use synonyms
participation
Replace the word
participants
show examples
 in
rughby
Correct your spelling
rugby
 dramatical declined over the
20 year
Add a hyphen
20-year
show examples
 timescale of finish at just 50,
was
Correct pronoun usage
which was
show examples
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 same with
badminton
Use synonyms
. In sharp contrast to
this
Linking Words
,
participation
Use synonyms
 in
tennis
Use synonyms
 increased gradually until it
over took
Correct your spelling
overtook
show examples
rughby
Correct your spelling
rugby
 in 1995. It
then
Linking Words
 rose roughly 220 in 2005,
by
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
attendcy
Correct your spelling
attendance
attend
 of people for
badminton
Use synonyms
 and
basketball
Use synonyms
 did not change over the period.
Submitted by alizadehfaeze1991 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words basketball, tennis, badminton, participation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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